Who wants to live forever?
by MLaw
Summary: Illya and Napoleon find themselves yet again, prisoners of THRUSH, but something odd is going on. Originally posted for the PicFic Tuesday challenge on section7mfu on Live Journal. The prompt was a photo of a balcony. Pre-saga.


The THRUSH temptress known only as Marlena leaned forward, flashing her milky white cleavage at the Russian. He couldn't help but stare as her skin was flawless, as was her face, though her breasts drew his attention more...

Surprisingly, she unlocked the handcuffs that held him to a chair in their interrogation room. He had not suffered any beatings at his captors hands, not even being injected with drugs. His questioning had been very brief and rather timid by THRUSH standards...

Why these women insisted on going by their first names was beyond his comprehension, Angelique, Serena and now Marlena; a name was a name and to Illya it meant nothing more than that. Napoleon, where ever he was seemed intrigued by the single-named women, especially Angelique...

"Marlena? What are you doing?" Illya asked, rubbing his reddened wrists.

"I'm setting you free..."

"Really? And for what reason may I ask, though do not misconstrue that I am grateful for your actions."

"I want you to come with me."Without warning, she kissed him on the lips, and taken off-guard; he did not return the embrace.

Illya followed her down a corridor lined with numbered doors and for a moment he thought it looked like a hotel as he'd been unconscious when they'd brought him in as a prisoner and had no idea where he was.

They stopped at door 5E and Marlena opened it to reveal a room in which laboratory equipment had been set up, though unlike most labs that were in basements, this one had a sliding door to a balcony with a rather spectacular view of a cityscape, backlit by a full moon.

"This is my lab, and I have a secret to share with you," she announced...something that didn't surprise the Russian. THRUSH were known for having big mouths.

He eyed her suspiciously, though THRUSH were notorious for bragging about their plans and schemes, this seemed different and supposed it was the kiss that had thrown him off. Women went after Napoleon, and rarely him.

"Illya, how old do you think I am?" She did a little turn in front of him. Her white dress was clinging, and diaphanous, showing off her voluptuous figure.

He looked at her carefully, not wanting to rush to judgement as telling a woman her age could be a tricky thing. Too young and you were lying, too old and you had insulted her.

"I would say you are in your early thirties, though possibly a tad younger."

"Wrong, I am," she hesitated," eighty years old.

The look on Kuryakin's face said it all.

"Yes I know you do not believe me. Yet it is true. I have discovered the secret of eternal youth. It was a surprisingly simple formula that allowed me to reverse the aging process and live forever." She approached him, running her finger along his cheek, this time kissing him in earnest and this time the Russian responded in kind, kissing her back with great zeal.

"Mmmm," she came up for air. "I knew you were the right choice. I found you to be quite enticing, but it is an eternity I do not wish to spend alone. You intrigue me Illya Kuryakin...you are handsome, boyish but quite masculine. Strong willed yet, gentle and a gentleman. I could see myself spending forever with you. I'm sure you are quite the spectacular lover."

Illya blushed, "Though I am flattered by your offer, I must decline the honor." He slowly stepped backwards towards the balcony.

"But why wouldn't you want to stay young? Wouldn't you want to live forever? You will be handsome and virile, never growing old. Or do you want to die, going out in a blaze of glory?"

"I would prefer neither," he said, opening the sliding glass door and walking the end of the balcony. He stared out into the night at the city lights that surrounded them, heaving a long sigh.

"But if I must, I must. Adieu Marlena, perhaps you will find another taker."

Illya suddenly grabbed the railing, leaping over it and plummeting out of view.

"Noooooo!" The woman screamed, running to the rail, and hearing the tree branches snapping below in the darkness where the Russian must had fallen to his death.

"Damn," she cursed.

Marlena turned and left her lab, distraught at the loss of her beautiful Russian...but not that much. It was only a minor setback. She would find another, though probably not one with such beautiful blue eyes.

.

Illya lashed out, grabbing something in the darkness as the sudden jolt of his body weight yanked at his arms; it was another railing, and in one fluid motion his other hand latched onto what felt like a chair a chair; he dragged and flung that over his head, sending it crashing down into the trees below.

He realized he was hanging onto the railing of yet another balcony, and after peering carefully between the white railings, he noted the accommodations in the adjoining room confirmed the building was indeed a hotel and not a satrap...well maybe it was a satrap too. How clever of THRUSH to simply be using hotel rooms to fill their needs. Their nefarious goings on were intermingled with legitimate hotel guests perhaps, ensuring UNCLE would not blow things up this time.

He flung his leg over, pulling himself up onto the balcony.

Now to find Napoleon... The best plan at this point after finding his partner was to pull a fire alarm, empty the building and blow it up.

Illya sauntered into the hotel room, and at that moment a woman stepped from the bathroom in a state of near undress. She screamed at the top of her lungs of course.

"Pardon me madam...ugh I am hotel security and am searching for a cat burglar. You need to keep your balcony door locked for your own safety please."

"Oh, why thank you," she smiled, and seeing how cute the blond stranger was, she let her towel drop just a little, giving him quite a view of her breasts.

"What is is with women flashing me their bosoms?" Illya asked himself as he begged off, and exited through the hotel room door. Not that he didn't mind seeing what he saw, being a man who happened to like women's breasts...he had to put it out of his mind as he had a job to do.

"Sigh..."

Illya located Napoleon Solo purely by accident, just as a Thrush guard was escorting him out into the hallway.

"Pardon me, but I will take it from here," Illya tapped the guard on the shoulder.

"And who the hell are you?"

"Your friendly neighborhood UNCLE agent," the Russian grinned before slugging the man in the chin and knocking him out cold.

"About time you showed up,"Napoleon said as Illya untied his hands.

"That is my line my friend," he smiled in reply for once. "Are you aware this place is a hotel?"

"Yep, I sort of had that feeling when they tied me up in what looked like a master suite. Quite a view out the balcony.

The two agents headed down the hill together towards the elevator.

"So any idea what's going on here?" Napoleon asked as the doors closed behind them, and Illya hit the button for the floor above them.

"Yes, Marlena led me to a lab on the next floor...take a guess how old she is," he asked.

"Huh?"

"Napoleon, how old did Marlena look to you?"

"Maybe thirty three...why?"

"She is, rather she claims to be eighty years of age."

Solo stood with his mouth open, not believing it at first.

"So don't tell me, she's discovered the fountain of youth. I remember at one time THRUSH was looking for it in St. Petersburg, Florida."

"Not legendary fountain of youth, but she claims she has a formula that reverses the aging process."

There was a 'ding' as elevator door opened to the fifth floor and Illya led the way.

"5E, this is the room." He pulled a wire hidden in his mouth, wrapped around his back molar, intending to use it to pick the lock, but Napoleon turned the doorknob and found it unlocked.

Solo shrugged as his partner looked up at him...they walked in quietly, oddly finding no one there.

"Here it is this one,"Illya pointed to a vial containing a putrid looking liquid hanging in a rack of test tuble.

"Sample?" Napoleon asked.

"Good idea, then we must somehow figure out how to destroy this place, but first we must get any innocents out before doing so," Illya looked rather grave at that prospect.

"Click..."

Both men froze as they heard the hammer on a revolver being cocked.

"Ah, so you are more resourceful than I thought my dear Illya. Might I convince you to change your mind one last time," Marlena said as she stood behind them aiming her gun straight at the two agents. She hesitated for a moment. "Hmm still not accepting my offer? Perhaps handsome Mr. Solo might be interested? How would you like to stay young forever?"

The two men turned slowly with their hands raised, with Illya still holding the vial.

"Like my partner here, I must decline your offer," Napoleon crooned." Say by the way have you looked in a mirror lately? Seems you're developing some crows feet."

"What?" Marlena gasped. That served as an instant distraction for Napoleon to grab her hand, grappling with her for the gun. In the brief struggle the trigger was pulled and a single shot went off.

Solo staggered back, blood on his silk shirt...

Marlena screamed before she hit the floor, and both Napoleon and Illya watched in horror as the woman began to instantly age before their eyes. Her hair turned grey and seemed to thin, her cheeks sunk in and became filled with wrinkles and she went from a voluptuous woman to one who was thin and fragile.

There was a quiet moan as she died.

"It is not nice to tamper with Mother Nature," Illya quipped.

"That's an understatement if I ever heard one chum, now let's 'blow' this place.

Illya removed the vile containing the formula and tucked it safely in his breast pocket. He looked around the lab, examining some of the other compounds.

"These will do," he said, handing some to his partner. "Empty the contents." He grabbed a box of matches sitting near a bunsen burner and lit it. "The fumes will ignite in a few minutes."

They exited the room, and quickly it a fire alarm on the corridor wall; both taking off at a dead run for the stairs.

They were met with other people on the fifth floor landing, some of them no doubt THRUSH as the sirens began to blare.

A voice came over a PA system asking all guests to exit the building immediately.

As the crowds spilled out into the lobby, the hotel manager and employees directed them out the exit. "Quickly to across to the other side of the parking area!" That order was followed by a loud 'BOOM', and all eyes were directed to the fifth floor.

Flames erupted out of one of the rooms, and the agents looked at each other knowingly. The fire spread quickly engulfing the upper half of the hotel. This one, an older building had not been equipped with a sprinkler system and by the time the fire brigade arrived, the entire hotel had begun to burn.

"This is getting too hot to handle," Napoleon leaned over to Illya's ear.

"Hmm, yes. I have a burning desire to leave...shall we?"

Napoleon winked, and both of them casually walked away from the scene.

"Do you have your communicator?"Illya asked.

"No. I take it yours is gone too."

"Burned to a crisp no doubt. Do you have any money?"

Napoleon reached into his pockets, finding nothing.

"Hmm, guess we'll have to make a collect call to headquarters buddy boy."

"Accounting will love that," Illya.

"What ever...hey will you look at that moon?" Napoleon smiled.

Illya suddenly broke out into a song, a children's one actually.

_"¿Cómo es la luna? Redonda, redonda, como una rueda, como una ronda. __¿Cómo es la luna? Chiquita y bonita, también me alumbra media lunita._

_Yo no sé, yo no sé de dónde viene y a dónde va.__Yo no sé, yo no sé pero tío me lo dirá_ what __is the moon like? Round, round, like a wheel, like a song.__What is the moon like? Small and pretty, half a moon lights me up too.__I don't know, I don't know,where it comes from and where it goes. __I_ don't know, I don't know, but UNCLE will tell me."

"What was that?" Napoleon asked.

"Oh just a children's song called 'La Luna,"

"Hmm, appropriate that it mentions an Uncle," Solo smiled.

"Napoleon, I changed the lyric to that, as is was supposed to be 'mother'...

"Ohhhh.. hmmm so what do you think of the idea of living for all eternity?" He asked the Russian, changing the subject.

"Seriously my friend...who wants to live for an eternity?"

"That would make an interesting song lyric wouldn't it?" Napoleon asked as they disappeared into the night.


End file.
